http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/5/24/nation/20110524185902&sec=nation

i told you before.. :-/

alright, let's face the truth..who on earth(i mean malaysia) study but do not wish to get a scholarship and stand a chance to study abroad? and seriously, how many people get it and truly deserve it?

How can i get one?
oh, it's simple..really..just get the maximum number of As as possible and pray..so why bother joining events and club activities, or maybe getting involve some leadership-management stuff if they do not really care about it now..because, in reality, getting straight As means you are a good leader/best student/future leader/etc. so basically you do not need to prove that you are by being president of some club/society nor organizing and managing events..and even you do(and you score straight As)you might have slightly better advantage compare to the other candidates..but to think again, they might just close one eye and look on your academic result, only..

while i do agree some people do deserve the scholarship after all the hard work studying and involving in some, if not many, extra co-curricular activities, there are a lot(almost all)get it purely based on their academic result..although some from this group might come in with a title of "president of club" or "project manager of event" or maybe "head of something" but sometimes do you wonder, are they really the best choice for it, or just because they are the only choice to fill in the blank?

Spot my Sport
alright, fine..assuming that you are the best/good academically and hold some good posts(and a proven leader too of course)i believe almost all/none involve in SPORT(please don't give me CHESS as the answer)..the idea is that why waste time involve in sport if i have enough merits from other activities will surely popped up in their mind..and in fact, putting the option between sports and etc. makes everyone to choose etc. to get the points..i am not trying to say/ask you to involve in football or badminton or netball and be a rep and earn the right of obtaining the scholarship, no i am not..it's just that "how many" will go have try to play the game, or try to involve in a sport day(i mean 100m or long jump and so on, not putting a uniform marching around the field)

Where to Find the Combo?
i believe each year, there is at least one student who is of these combo and should(probably the most suitable one)to get scholarship but it's hard..they are forced to choose to scarify one of it..u want to be world class player your studies will be affected and vice versa..

seriously it is easier to find a student with a result of "very good" category than a sport player of state-level standard..and even you are the product of the combo, still you need to choose between the sport you like and chase the dream of your life..

Good Student + No Scholarship = What to Do?
in malaysia, often will we hear that some top scorers fail to obtain any scholarship and force to be on their own..and being malaysian, the first thought/next step would be go to a private college..i have no comment on choosing a private college to further our study because maybe you can(your parents can)afford the fees(or get a loan) and it is half securing your future with its status..

commonly, everyone will try to get a place in matriculation..despite being easy to score and at least already secure a place in local university, it is not recognize else where in the world but malaysia only..so perhaps competition will be higher as almost everyone can score an easy 4.0(if you are hardworking all the time)and placement for your choice of program+university will be a lot,tougher..

Diploma and STPM
ironically, many "good students" don't give a damn on diploma and STPM anymore..for them, it is waste of time(both), unsecure future(diploma) and tough(STPM)..but seriously, it is just the mentality that plays their part..well to think of it(in terms of engineering courses via diploma)there are quite a number of scholarships available upon "graduation"(Shell, PETRONAS, JPA, etc)..perhaps the problem is that everyone is unaware of it..and if you still dream of studying 'oversea', doing well in STPM will send you to our friendly neighbor singapore..well, it is still 'oversea' right?

oh ya..its just my opinion..personally opinion, only.. ><

Who knows?

take a walk with me, will you?

final examination in UTP is coming within days but still suddenly, i feel like writing something and i know this is something unusual for me to do. perhaps i just wanna waste some times.

but then again, out of boredom, i've been thinking yet again. why i am here in this place at first place? because i don't see myself, doing things i like the most, enjoying things i normally do, having fun like i used to be, and most importantly, being myself here.

well, you see, the problem with this place is that, it gathers "the best brain" from all over the place in malaysia, put them in a jungle-look-alike university, and ask them to survive 4 to 5 years while hoping they become totally well-rounded. it is actually a good plan IF they turn out to be PETRONAS employees in the nearest future. but i don't see the point of these future leaders if each and everyone of them is repeating/doing what their seniors did previously. i mean there's no initiative for them to change the things but blindly following it with/without minor changes. well, it's from my point of view of course. i came from different background with different experience so i can't say nor compare much, as i don't have the credibility to do so.

perhaps i used to be on top and now that i am sitting in the bottom, it makes me see things differently.

secondly, for obvious reason why i'm not enjoying here is that, i often being outcasted, except with the batch that i came in here with. i'm not a social outcast, i do try to talk or join in sometimes but now i don't really see the point.

if you in a group of 4, adding one more might seems ok and the car might just has another place for one more. and if you in a group of 6, then being the 7th guy obviously feel awkward. but in either case, say outing or movie night or maybe lunch/dinner outside campus, the probability of them calling you to join them is 3% because they are not used to have the extra member. well, maybe they will call you for futsal(because they don't have the number and they don't mind anyone playing as long they have the people to play)or mamak(provided others are not mamak-type or interested that time)

i do miss UMS sometimes, well at least i feel like i belong in a group there with my fellow friends there(because we are of the same batch). i'm happier there, laughing harder there, compare to here of course. in short, things(human) are quite complicated here. i like it simple there. not forgetting the number of girls at UMS too :D

those time i used to work hard/committed in doing simple stuffs/events/etc but now i find it hard to have that kind of commitment level here. as i said earlier, how to do with all my heart if i am not enjoying it at all. simple, ask them who am i and they might ask back am i a committee too? try it to believe it. one reason i think it is due to the way of them doing things here. although i don't mind applying/coping with new style/way but sometimes i find it pointless because they are some people who can't make me feel i am one of the team. mostly they just being a leader that lead the group and achieve goals(my roommate agrees on this-and we are STPM leaver :P)well once again, it just my 2 cent and personal opinion.

too bad, i can't reverse the time. by the end of my final exam, i'll be in my 3rd year and have another 2 years before grad. all i have to do is to hold on for another 2 years, and everything gonna be over, i hope.

well....
who knows what might happen in the future? nobody knows
who knows if i make a right decision? nobody knows
who knows how i might be if i opt to say in UMS? nobody knows
who knows how many people will read this and comment on it? i know-nobody :P

adios

b---h

a new beginning as the sun rises to shine a brand new day

and i thought i had let it go a long time ago..but somehow there's some odd feeling kept hunting me when i saw the new status of her..what the hell am i thinking???

ever since that day..i never plan to look back..i never plan to even care about her life anymore..but somehow my heart always change my stands..it's like..there's a small part deep inside me..hoping that things will change and go according to my way..

there are times where revenge is on my mind..but what's the point of revenging where at the end, i might be the one who suffer from it..?even if i get my chance to pay back, i don't think that i can cruelly do it..i'm just, not that type of person i guess...

some time ago, a friend of mine came and told me some truth about her..and the ugly truths make sense..i mean, it's the kind of truth that everyone wishes not to know about it and inside your heart u know u r lying to yourself..the best part, i accepted the truth..i acknowledged it..all i can do it, make a fake smile and act nothing happen..

no worries though..i live my life with no regret so far..and screw her man..u have nothing to do in my life anymore so stop finding me for helps..pretending that we are close friend whenever i'm useful and act busy after i'll help u???i am sorry gal but that ain't gonna happen the next time i receive your damn msg anyway..i had walked a brand new path every single day and i am ain't looking back..

"screw u, i ain't care anymore"

path

the path that i am walking on currently

there was a time where i need to choose a path between two..i chose one..and i always wonder how if i choose the other..would life be more wonderful on the other side of the road..?i don't know and will never know..

there are some points in my life that i wish i could turn back the time and re-do some decision that won't make me regret about it now..

time machine anyone?

2nd year begins..

our journey looks so far away but everything is just started

and now i'm about to be called 2nd-year student/senior/junior in UTP which means i walked the quarter part of my uni life..but somehow i still feel the emptiness in me..i which i know why..

now that a year had passed..i guess i still couldn't believe the fact that i left UMS for UTP..perhaps a clear good reason will clear the doubt in me..

but it still sadden me that i am yet to find the group/gang that talks the same 'language' as me, or in another word - common interest, count-on-me-buddy etc type..but i gotta admit, there are great pals i met in UTP, some i consider as my buddy,but somehow i have a different feeling whenever i am hang out with them compare to those when i am in UMS..

well,i'm just finish my 1st year of studies..there are 3 more years to go..perhaps things will change slowly here in UTP..whether i'm happy or not,i gotta do it..because there is no machine that could turn back the time..the road might be long and looked so far away but it's just the starting point..things SHOULD BE getting interesting here, i hope..

p/s - i miss UMS a lot..kinda regret..sigh..but let's see if it is the best choice i've made..maybe in 10 years time?haha..

the past..now..and the future

our past might be carrying our sorrows, unhappy memories, or the dark moment of our life..one seems to remember all the nostalgia past very well..but we do forget that we had gone through it with all those happy moments, the top of the world feeling or unforgettable situations which give us joy and happiness..but human do prefer to remember the negative side of it rather than the positive side..

some agree what past remains the past..what is more important is who we are now..but as we fight through our daily life, problems or conflicts or choices become our next headache..we will be concerning about our study(especially when exam is getting closer), money(if u are using your own money for daily stuff or from your parents where they work damn hard just to give it to u), friends(best friend? sis/bro relationship? rival? emotion? selfishness?) or maybe something more personal..we will never know what comes next, and what would happen after that, and yet all we might asking for is some time to escape from this cruel reality world that kills our youth..

but however, what we are now might not be what we want to be in the future..hundreds of thousands of us are dreaming of earning big money, living in big house, driving our dream car etc..but how many actually achieve that? don't blame anyone by saying we never work for it or work not hard enough..the fact is actually our society kills our dreams..chances are basically given to those with experience(not fresh grad) or those with some kind of relationship in between or maybe from back door/dirty tricks..very few will be lucky, if their superiors are fair enough to everyone..and how many actually will ask 'how good are u in ... in real life' rather than 'what is your pointer' or 'which place did u get your degree from'..


just like the house in the picture..in the past, it was a home for a family but now it is left with nothing and nobody knows what gonna be of it in the nearest future..but nevertheless, hope that we do remember that our parents give us a home and grow us to be what we are today and never forget the fact in the future,no matter what happens..